Becoming Parents Through Adoption

After seven years of so many hurdles and obstacles, we finally took steps last year to adopt.  We have a beautiful son.

I’ve been debating on how to write about our son and share our adoption story on this blog.  I want to and should be mindful of how this is also his story and that his privacy is of utmost importance.  So I’ll have to see what and how much to reveal, without feeling like I’m crossing some line with regards to sharing about his life, what’s passed for him, and what’s ahead for him.  It’s a question or area that I’ll need to think more about.

In the meantime, I can share our story to a great extent and what we’ve learned and now know through our process of becoming parents via adoption in Pakistan.  This is important, even critical, for several reasons.

First, while Pakistan is probably one of the easiest and quickest places to adopt from for overseas Pakistanis, I can only describe the prevailing attitudes and practices as un-sophisticated and un-evolved—tremendous obstacles for folks looking to adopt as well as for children needing homes and families. We need as many voices and new perspectives possible to improve domestic or international adoptions in Pakistan as well as to advocate for change in outdated values/attitudes/information that cloud adoption.

Second, adoption in Pakistan comes with many benefits and challenges, and there is very little information and guidance surrounding the process.  There is so much we’ve learned through this process, and yet I’m surprised at how many people are trying to adopt in Pakistan without half the information we started with.  I’m surprised at the number of people having little or no luck getting very far in the process.  And I’m surprised every time I hear how a couple (who are overseas Pakistanis) match with a child in Pakistan and go through the domestic legal/bureaucratic process only to get rejected during immigration because of the most basic information that should have had from the beginning.

Finally, the third reason to share about our adoption experience is that my husband and I are unable to be complacent now that we have our son.  Adoption is a very complicated issue.  Even today, the process, attitudes, and beliefs surrounding international and domestic adoption leave much to be desired.  We want to advocate for adoption for anyone who has or may want to consider it.

All this is to say, that even with all that sounds negative and daunting about the adoption process (and we had our fair share of challenges during the process), we still would encourage adoption from Pakistan or anywhere else 100%.

Additional information with as much details as I can provide for anyone who wants to learn more about adoption in Pakistan will be consolidated and available on the page: “Adoption in Pakistan”.  If there’s any information or thoughts I have that is not specific to this culture or country, it will be available under “Adoption”.